Bill and Kylee Adventures
by The Design Nerd
Summary: This story follows the adventures of Bill Cipher and his daughter Kylee, a new twist on the typical Starchan/Bill setup that should be hilarious. It's my first attempt at creating a story with an OC as a main character. Granted, the OC isn't mine, but to write for someone not in canon is a welcome challenge. Hope you enjoy!


"Dad!"

He heard the familiar echo of her voice from across the dark void that he called home and rolled his eye. _Not again._

"Hey! Hey dad!"

His eyelid flattened in a straight line as he slouched, matching up angles with the bricks on his base, giving his rather lacking triangular form the appearance of boredom.

"Don't _make_ me break out the incantation."

He arched his form backward and rolled his bulbous eyeball, somehow let out a fierce growl despite his lack of a visible mouth, and brought his barely-defined hands to where ears should be.

"Triangulum entangulum, veneforis dominus mentium!"

Of _course_ she had to give him no other option. He found himself dematerializing into a different plane before he could even do anything about it, not that he could anyway.

He wasn't one hundred percent on how she first discovered his summoning ritual, but he found himself standing face to eye with this girl just about a year ago. She, smiling and fully convinced he was her biological father, and he, cross-armed, spending every moment of that time between realities trying to deny it. It was there, strikingly obvious, black and white as the space between his reality and hers: she shared his headstrong stubbornness, his confidence, she even had a bit of a temper to her. He shook it off, accepting her scientifically-put ramblings at the surface, but nothing underneath. She was too inherently _good _to be any product of his twisted genetics and quite frankly, he hated it.

He couldn't stand being related to someone who didn't have the same moral compass as him, which would be, well, a nonexistent one. Maybe even a huge, well placed magnet that throws off anyone else's within miles of his presence. That being said, there was always a bit of tension hanging around them. Under them, above them, so thick not even a diamond-tipped saw could cut through it. She didn't mind though and powered straight through it, knowing he was all she had as family. He held a bit of respect for her in the same way, but honestly, truly stuck to his guns that all he needed was himself. It was one of his mottos: Trust no one.

He huffed, a tiny bit of a noise, before he tore a hole through reality yet again, creatures slowing to a stop around him, all saturation and hues from the trees draining, time and space in this pinhole once again completely under his control. He skipped his usual fanfare upon entering.

"Whaddaya want now, kid?!"

"Nice to see you t-"

"Yanno, I have places ta be every once in a while, too!"

"Da-"

As he kept rambling, his color shifted from a cool, collected yellow to a bright red, "I swear every week it's the same old thing. Oh yes, let's summon the almighty dream demon ta catch him up on the events that've happened in the town he's always watching! Makes perfect sense!"

"DAD. SHUT UP."

"Ya can't tell me ta shut up!"

The teenager flailed her hands, "Stop! Just for a second! Ohmycod!" She rubbed her temples, lined eyes sealed shut, "I swear on my life one of these days I will set you on fire in the middle of a bunch a'birch trees."

"Ya wouldn't dare."

They closed in, made eye contact.

"Try me."

She broke it off with a scoff and leaned up against an ashy-looking redwood, looking off to the side, gingerly rubbing a mosquito bite on her bare, toned arm as a distraction. The two sat in stark grayscale silence for a while, both avoiding each others' faces.

The girl piped up, a bit awkwardly, "So I, uh, found something new today."

He raised half a brow, "I'm listening…"

She immediately pulled out a smallish blue book from the drawstring bag on her back. The center of the dented, worn thing was embossed with a multicolored star that hid underneath the pages as she sprawled herself out and laid the tome across the grass. The sketchbook, filled with scratched out Latin and a few unusually complex blueprints for some functional weapons, stood out brightly against the pale blades and ferns around it. A couple pale charcoal drawings littered each page with focused smudges, mostly plants, the occasional deer, a couple people. It seemed like the kind of thing she never left home without. Finally, she smiled and pointed out a few words not yet crossed out in a fit of rage.

"You wanna see if it works this time?" She said up to him, raising one corner of her mouth.

He shrugged and glowed a bit with each syllable, "Heh, sure, whatever sacrifices your goat. None a'these have worked before, so odds are _not _in your favor, kiddo."

Her mouth formed a straight line as she accented each word clearly, defiantly, "Dad, my name is Kylee. You know this. How would you like it if I just called you dork all the time…or, or William!"

The triangle visibly shuddered, "Point taken. I won't call ya kiddo if ya never call me…that …again. Deal?"

"Deal," The girl rolled her blue-green eyes, slightly amused. She stood up on all of her five feet and nine inches, shoved a bit of her short brown hair backwards in preparation, and began to speak, effortlessly flying through the complicated language like it was her own. At the end of the incantation, Kylee glanced up from the pages at the odd shape in front of her, an expectant grin across her freckled features. Nothing.

The triangle piped up, "See, told ya. Not in your favor."

Her smile fell away and she began to stash her book back, disappointment strewn across her features for what seemed like the millionth time in a row. That was, up until a blinding flash burned a white fire against her skin. Holding up one arm like a protective shield, she made out a different eclipsed shape, one not isosceles at all, that fell to the ground in a black-and-yellow heap.

Kylee gasped and blinked away the ghostlike blotches in her vision. The scenery around her was no longer muted and grey, time had returned to normal, and he was still there. Actually physically there, on her plane of existence. She slowly approached the rather young-looking man and shook his shoulder. Other than a strange incoherent mumble, she got nothing. Well, at least he was alive, breathing.

Wait. Alive, breathing.

She had actually done it. All her research and 'borrowing' books from that strange-looking kid with a giant marshmallow of hair on his head had finally paid off. She stole another look at the tall, lanky guy, stuck partway between teenager and adult. He didn't look much older than her own age, fifteen. She wasn't sure what she was expecting really, but it wasn't her own father trapped in a body she could pass up in age in a couple years. The feeling was odd and somewhat constricting. The brunette certainly wasn't expecting a hairy, middle-aged man with a mustache trimmed up against his lip, but maybe a 35-ish sketchy car salesman with slicked-back hair.

It would suit him well.

Oddly, his looks fit him better than any slicked back loan shark could. Blond hair stuck out in fluffy angles from his head, a triangular nose was stuck perfectly halfway up from his pointed jawline, and a top hat somehow floated on an inch of air above his head. He wore a simple black suit that kept a few of the straight lines of his previous form, complete with gloves and shoes that practically blended in with the material. A bow tie rested on his neck right above a bricked golden vest. A generous proportion of leg and height made him a bit odd-looking, as did the dorky smile stuck on his unconscious face.

She tapped him with her foot, "HEY."

Still nothing.

"I can't carry you, dork," Kylee tilted her head and took in his proportions again, "There's suddenly a whole lot more Bill than I was expecting."

She let a quick breath through her lips, grabbed an arm, and hoisted all six foot four of him clumsily upright for just a moment…before promptly getting trapped under a big pile of dead-weighted dream demon. The girl clawed at the ground for a moment and managed to escape. She dusted off her starred tanktop, brought a hand to her head in thought, and after a few seconds, her eyes lit up. Kylee grabbed her longboard which rested up against a pine and jammed it up under his side like a crude car jack.

"COME. ON," She attempted to roll him onto the skateboard, "JUST. MOVE."

Finally he gave way and she fixed him into a sitting position, legs sprawled out far behind the way she pulled his arms, feet jumping over the path's roots involuntarily.

"You couldn't just be awake, could you?" She asked the trees that finally neared their end. Bill had fallen off the skateboard a minimum of eight times and she half-considered leaving him in the forest to fend for himself. Of course, she couldn't actually bring herself to do that, but the idea still spoke clear as day in the back of her mind. The teenager made it to a small house, nothing fancy, a simple one-bedroom deal, and dropped his hands in exhaustion. The blonde's head did a quick bounce on the concrete and she cringed, checking to see if he was alright. No blood, good. Check for concussion later.

Kylee reached her arms under his and locked them, dragging Bill up the couple steps, through the recently opened door and put him in front of the couch. There was no way she was dragging him up there. She grabbed a pillow and blanket, placed them where they needed to go, and waited on the couch. At some point, she dozed off and woke up to screaming.

"What did ya DO ta me?!" Bill screeched, holding his head where it recently took a slight beating. "I look like, like this again! Not ta mention, this is _painful!_"

She held her hands out in front of her, "Hey, _hey, _you said I cou—wait, again?"

* * *

**Hello. I haven't existed here in a long time, but welp, here I am again with another new story before I finish up an old one. I won't be continuing the other, more popular ones until season two gets a little closer (due to lack of viewership and the resulting feeling I'm writing for no one. I like attention, sue me.) I don't own anything, the characters aren't mine, only their ridiculous adventures. Kylee is made by roboTechnician on Twitter and Bill belongs to Alex Hirsch, obviously. This tension between the crazy OC and Bill is too amazing to pass up. OH and Bill's design is based on don't-lye's on dA. Okay, ramble over. Fav/Follow/Review and all that normal stuff if you feel like it. BUY GOLD BYE~**


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